Believe Survivors: The Importance of Community Validation
At the school board meeting on Nov 14th, Malia Hollowell made a public comment notifying the community that she had experienced harmful comments and actions from outgoing superintendent Mike Hanson. She announced an investigation had been opened because of her complaints and that 20+ other women working in the district had joined her in the allegations of inappropriate behavior by Hanson. (You can see her full comment in our prior article, here.) The community response ranged from supportive, to mild dismissal, to outright anger against Ms. Hollowell. I will not share exact comments as I do not want to name community members, however, it is this myriad of responses I’d like to address today.
According to the Equal Employment Opportunity Commission (EEOC), 78.2% of sexual harassment allegations and 62.2% of general harassment allegations were filed by women between 2018 and 2021. Nearly $300 million was paid out in settlements because of these allegations. Nationwide, 81% of women report experiencing sexual harassment and/or assault in their lifetime compared to 43% of men reporting similar experiences.
Even if someone doesn’t experience gender-based violence themself, the actions of such violence shapes the life of every woman and the choices they make whether they realize it or not. Gender-based violence and the discriminatory practices it entails are based on the idea of female inferiority and are very often entrenched in culture, tradition, and history of subjugation of women. Considering the good ole’ boys club that is rampant in the Tahoma School District, is it really a surprise that a powerful, independent woman such as Ms. Hollowell experienced several instances of inappropriate behavior in her interactions with the head of the district?
It takes an incredible amount of courage for a victim of any type of violence to speak out, especially when the perpetrator is present as Mr. Hanson was when Ms. Hollowell made her public comments. Many things go through the mind of the victim including fear of retaliation not only by the perpetrator but also by people in the community, especially when the perpetrator has been a central part of the community for decades, like Mr. Hanson. However, a first-person narrative that challenges this authority can be a powerful tool in creating change. The narrative that was presented by Ms. Hollowell on Nov 14th was hard to hear, not only for victims of harassment but also those who had no idea Mr. Hanson was capable of such atrocious behavior. This confusion was seen in social media comments from community members as they attempted to process the information that was shared.
The #MeToo movement that began in 2017 provided much needed space for people to think about the issue of harassment in the workplace and in communities. This resulted in many people understanding that listening to and supporting victims is an important part of the healing process. Trauma informed care, a set of guidelines that directs how people view the impact of severe harm on a person’s mental, physical, and emotional health, gained traction in how communities respond to allegations of gender-based violence. In this case, there was an outpouring of support from people in the community including the large group of women that stood in solidarity as Ms. Hollowell left the district board room after her comments. This act of support was heartwarming to say the least and I wouldn’t doubt that this solidarity helped Ms. Hollowell to feel she was doing the right thing by speaking out. In contrast, two other types of responses were seen that aided in the continued cycle of violence happening in our district.
Refusal to believe the victim contributes to an environment in which this violence against women continues with relative impunity.
The first type of comment I’ll address is one that many may not see as intentionally harmful but can be extremely detrimental to the healing process. These are comments that speak out in support of the perpetrator because the commenter doesn’t personally have any bad experiences with the perpetrator. In other words, “I don’t believe you because he’s always been nice to me”. Although it is impossible to get all people to believe a victim’s testimony, this act of disbelief, especially from other women, is incredibly hard for victims to hear and can impede their healing journey. If women are not able to have a unified voice in the face of gender-based violence, then they also face increased harm from the patriarchal forces that continue to plague our communities. It’s understandable to believe that a certain person isn’t capable of such horrible behavior, but is it necessary to publicly voice that belief when a victim has the courage to share a different experience? This refusal to believe victims interferes with intervention of men who are causing harm which in turn contributes to an environment in which this violence against women continues with relative impunity.
Sadly, the second type of comment was seen on social media outlets and can be even more harmful than the harassment itself. Those are the comments saying that Ms. Hollowell deserved her treatment based on perceived bad behavior on her part. Many of these perceived bad behaviors were a result of Ms. Hollowell’s independent and assertive actions while she was on the school board. While these traits in men are often seen as positive characteristics, women, especially those in leadership, are viewed as aggressive and it almost always negatively impacts others’ perception of them. This type of gender bias is yet another result of a patriarchal society that has long held masculine superiority as the norm and negatively impacted some people’s perception of Ms. Hollowell. When the allegations came to light, some who viewed Ms. Hollowell’s assertiveness as aggression publicly accused her of similar behavior that deserved the name calling, stonewalling, and gaslighting that she alleges in her complaint. Let me be perfectly clear, no one deserves this type of treatment nor is a victim responsible in any way for a perpetrator’s actions.
Community members participating in victim blaming such as these two examples can perpetuate just as much harm, if not more so, than the initial act. It is not only harmful to the victim but to the community as a whole. A very detrimental effect of victim blaming is that it hinders other victims from speaking out. In a time when our community is reeling from several allegations of harmful behavior, we need to stand in solidarity to those willing to speak out so that other victims may find the courage to also share their experiences. Additionally, victims who receive negative responses and blame often-times experience greater distress and are less likely to report crimes in the future. Gender-based violence is about power and control and blaming the victim is not effective in resolving the issue. In fact, it only continues the cycle of abuse for future generations.
The vast majority of survivors are
telling the truth!
Believing a survivor of violence does not mean a perpetrator is automatically guilty. Afterall, the US criminal justice system values fair trials and innocence until proven otherwise. However, statistics show that the vast majority of survivors are telling the truth. Believing survivors has more to do with helping them through the process of healing and less to do with a guilty verdict in a court of law. Not only can believing and supporting survivors aid in healing, it also plays a huge role in ending the stigma around gender-based violence. If you can’t do it for Malia Hollowell, at least do it for the children in our community that deserve to be believed. Showing our children that our community supports and believes victims of violence goes a long way in them knowing they can speak up when they experience harmful behavior.
